Troublemakers at School

Hi again everyone!

As you can tell from the title, today will not be all sunshine and rainbows as usual. For those unfamiliar with its inner workings, Japan seems like a peaceful, docile, and friendly environment. The people are known to be nice and generous, with the Buddhist and Shinto religious background reflecting that. Other parts of Japan are known to be very strict, such as the insistence on punctuality and proper situational behavior/language. However, when these two opposing regimes clash, sometimes the result is a hideous bastard of Japanese bureaucracy. The educational system is one of those bastards.

In Japan, education is mandatory from kindergarten up to the end of middle school. In America, education is mandatory as well, but students can very well be barred from school for various reasons, most notably behavior. The teachers and schools have some disciplinary power to put students in their place if they are misbehaving in class, such as visits to disciplinary figures in the office, getting kicked out of class, or detentions/suspensions/expulsions.

The term "mandatory" is held to a more strict standard here in Japan than in America. Here, the students are entitled to their seat in the classroom. Students must be allowed to be in their classroom, even if they are a disruption. This basically means that the teachers have very little power to do anything to control their students. Teachers can't discipline their students in any way except for yelling at them or lowering their grade. Students can definitely be held back grades, but this is hardly ever done because teachers want to get the problem children out of the system as quickly as possible. The teachers are basically helpless.

At most of the better schools, discipline is not so much of a problem. The kids at these schools tend to be whipped into shape by strict teachers that explode in anger at the smallest infringement of the rules. This can include how you talk, stand, sit, behave, or dress. The kids usually choose to do what they are told, and dealing with the students in class is painless (though frustrating if you're trying to make them participate more). The thing to note here is that the students have a choice.

In the worse schools, lots of the students choose to ignore the teacher completely and sleep (or sometimes read a novel) in class. Nobody can stop them, since they have a right to be in the classroom and physical punishments are forbidden. Thankfully, the sleeping students don't cause a disruption, so teachers tend to leave them alone.

Then, there are some students that choose to ignore the teacher and talk to their friends instead. They are certainly annoying, and tend to get yelled at by the teachers because they make it hard for other students to pay attention. Even these students I don't have much of a gripe with, since they don't directly want to cause trouble. They only want to keep themselves entertained.

Finally, there are the kids that seek only to be a disruption. They pay attention to the teacher, but only to determine in what way is best to disturb the lesson at hand. These kids will pester their classmates, get out of their chairs and roam the room at will, and just try their hardest to piss the teacher off.

I have a few of the bad schools in the city, so I have some experience with these kinds of kids. I've had a boy that used his silver metal pencil case as a sun reflector to blind me for 10+ minutes of a class. I've had kids who got out of their chairs and just left the classroom unannounced. I've had kids drum on their desks loudly, or stick stuff into the metal heating elements on the side of the room (which they seem to particularly like doing). I've had a kid who ran about the classroom closing curtains, opening windows, and turning off lights. I've had a kid open a 3rd story window and threaten to throw a chair out, before pretending (only pretending, unfortunately) to jump out himself.

Most frequently, I've had students who are just plain rude. Their teacher would tell them to quiet down, and they would reply with "shut your mouth!" They will openly call their teacher "idiot" or "dumbass" to their face. They tend to be boys, but I've seen girls do this a few times too. The teachers who take this abuse also tend to be female, as I and other male teachers don't have this problem nearly as much, but I have been at the pointy end of this behavior a few times.

The first was, as I mentioned before, the kid who used the sun reflector. I just tried my best to ignore him and resist going over there to shove the pencil case down his throat. It got cloudy eventually, which made his attempts futile. However, there was also a kid who would not stop saying "shut up" every time the teacher or I said anything in English. I warned the kid to stop it, which kept him quiet for a little while. A few minutes later, he was at it again, so I got fed up. I walked  up to his desk, put my face centimeters away from his, and gave him the good ol' Samuel L. Jackson from Pulp Fiction. "Say that again. I dare you." That certainly wiped the goofy smile off his face, and needless to say he didn't misbehave for the rest of the class. However, I know for sure that I would have been reprimanded if my supervisor had been there.

A few months ago, the question was asked by one of the other ALTs in the prefecture: "What do we do if we had some misbehaving students?" The specific answer was, "Assistant Language Teachers are not responsible for discipline in the classroom. You should let your teacher in charge handle it." Obviously, if there are misbehaving students, the teacher in charge is not "handling it" in any way, shape, or form. Regardless, the job of the ALT is merely to be the language servant of the teacher in charge, and I was probably very out of line when I confronted the student for his behavior. I'm willing to ignore sleeping or talking students, and I can withstand students who are disruptive. I can even pent my rage when students are obnoxiously rude to their teachers, but if kids feel like they can do the same to me and get away with it, my inner sense of justice doesn't allow me to sit back and do nothing. Some things in this world must be done. I'll just need to tone it back in the future.

Well, that's enough complaining for today. Most of my students are great and a lot of fun to be around, so they make up for the rest of the bad kids. Let's just hope it doesn't get any worse.

Farewell, until next time...

Being an Asian Ninja

Poof!

Unlike the title may suggest, I'm not actually going to talk about hooded costumes or sneaky assassination techniques (as much as I would like to). Instead, I'd like to discuss what it means to be in Japan as a foreigner that looks Japanese.

For most of the other members of the JET program, being here makes you an instant celebrity. Everyone stares at you when you walk down the street, when you go grocery shopping, when you eat at a restaurant, and especially when you're taking a bath at a public bathhouse. The kids at school all want your autograph, and they're all over you during their free time. The local shops you patronize will know you by name and offer you free goods ("service", they call it), and Japanese people will go out of their way to befriend you.

I, on the other hand, am different. I don't get stared at. My kids don't fawn over me (well, most of them anyways). Sadly, I don't get "service" from local mom-and-pop stores. Worst of all, perhaps, is that Japanese people really don't give a crap about who I am. Do I sound jealous? That's because I am.

In this country, I don't look special. I look just like another Japanese person, and that first impression alone is enough to stomp many perks foreigners have into the ground. For those of you who'd like to make the outrageous claim that I distinctly don't look Japanese, I will just tell you now that you are wrong. People mistaken me all the time, and it's never without an explanation that Japanese people understand what sentient being I really am. The younger kids at school get surprised when I speak English, and they wonder why my name tag has foreign characters written on it. I get ignored by most of my fellow JETs when we cross paths in the street because I apparently "blend in with the rest of the population." Hell, when I first met some of the veteran JETs, one of them asked, "So, are you a university student or something?" All I could do was blink my eyes a few times before becoming ragingly offended. This happened all but 5 minutes after I told another newbie, "Since I got here, not a single person has thought I wasn't Japanese! NOT ONE!!"

Just today, actually, a suit-clad businessman came into the teacher's room at school looking for the head teacher. He asked me where she was, and I told him, "I had no idea." I asked the teachers near me, and they said that she had left for a little while. The guy then turned to me with a pamphlet and started explaining what I should tell the head teacher when she got back. Halfway through, I stopped him and explained, "I'm sorry, but I'm actually a foreigner. It would probably be a better idea if you explained this to one of the other teachers..." He stopped for a few seconds, and then bolted to the next nearest teacher to repeat what he just said to me. I couldn't help but snicker a little as I turned back towards my desk.

I have to admit, blending in with the population has some perks. I can sort of "be a ninja". Basically, I can go wherever Japanese people would go without anyone knowing anything is out of the ordinary. This comes in handy for walking down the street without getting harassed, or when I just want to go get a few groceries without stopping both lanes of traffic on a busy highway. It's most convenient, however, at the public bathhouses, or sentou. I can walk in there and get nekkid with all the other old Japanese dudes, and I won't get stared at for anything except the young man's physique that they wish they still had.

The local bathhouse, Adzuma-yu.

A few weeks ago, Honeybunny visited me in Aomori, and we decided to go to a local hot spring town called Asamushi Onsen for a nice dip in the cold weather. When we walked into the facility together, I had an interesting conversation with the clerk and his daughter. He gestured towards Honeybunny and asked, "Oh, where's she from?" I answered, "Actually, we're BOTH from America. California, specifically." "Oh, you too?" he replied. "Yes, I'm actually of Chinese descent," I responded. "I see. Is it your mother or your father that's Chinese [i.e. not the Japanese parent]?" he said. "Umm, actually both of them are Chinese," I retorted. "Oh... your Japanese is really good," came next. Well thanks, I suppose. Their final comment was, "people must confuse you with a Japanese person all the time." Indeed, they do. We then proceeded to enter the bath. Honeybunny had old women approach her and try to start conversation. In this region, the dialect is very mumbled and difficult to understand, so she had a hard time. I, on the other hand, was left in peace, as none of the people inside found me interesting enough to talk to. Blending in like a ninja...

Finally, a few months ago at a teaching conference across town, I had the chance to use my Asian camouflage to play a little joke. One of the speakers, who was particularly condescending and insufferable, wanted to bring a couple Japanese teachers to the front of the stage and make a mockery of their pronunciation. I rose my hand to volunteer, so he called me up. The other ALTs, seeing me chosen, raised their hands to volunteer, but he refused them, saying, "I want to use Japanese teachers so I can teach them a lesson." I silently and awkwardly stood there on stage with a guilty smile on my face while the rest of the ALTs tried to suppress their laughter. It wasn't until the speaker started explaining the exercise that my cover was blown. He spoke in Japanese, and I wasn't sure what he meant by "sagaru" (which can mean "to lower", so I thought he wanted me to lower myself. In this case, the meaning was "to step back" or "retreat", as he wanted me to back up while my partner approached). I started to bend at the knees, and then he asked me, "Are you an ALT?" I was forced to answer, "yes...," and trodded back into the audience. This time was sort of a failed ninja attempt, but I had my fun messing with him. He deserved it anyways...

Basically, the point I'm trying to make is that there are endless things for Japanese people to tease foreigners about, whether it be their looks, their accents, their behaviors, their insufficient language skills, or even no good reason at all! The only real perk about being here as a foreigner that looks Japanese is that, when Japanese people get taken by surprise and things get awkward, I get the opportunity to tease back. I need to appreciate this more, since it's the only break I'm ever going to get.

That's all for today. Ryan, out! *poof*

Preparing for Winter

So, guess what? The last 8 days of this 10-day forecast. That's what:

That's a lotta snowmen...

It's already snowed here a few times since I arrived. Even when the snow stuck, it never left a layer thicker than 2 inches. It always melted within the next 2-3 days when the sun came up.

Aomori's first snow this winter: pretty but fleeting.

I've been okay with the cooling temperatures so far. Even the last time I was biking home at night, I didn't really feel that cold while I passed a roadside thermometer flashing "2 C". The rain hasn't been that bad either, and I've gotten more used to biking on wet roads. I've been hanging in there alright, but this weather forecast only makes me feel one thing.

As a Southern Californian, I've been wary of Aomori's colder seasons. I've heeded the warning of fellow JETs, and I'm taking every precaution. I've loaded up on enough kerosene to power my heater for the next 2 months. I've bought new insulated jackets, waterproof pants, neck warmers, and burly socks. I've invested in a nicer pair of snow boots that go up almost to my knees. And, most importantly, I've added lots of long underwear to my wardrobe. You may laugh, but I promise you, this stuff is going to safe my life. You may think I'm exaggerating, but the winters here get pretty bad. Here's a photo I took from a friend who's been here for a lot longer than I have:

"I don't need a cell phone for travel," my sister said. "I'll just call you from a payphone," she said. Good luck with that. You may need to swim into there...

All I can do now is await the snow and do my best to fight cabin fever. Goodbye, and may the gods have mercy on my soul.

Overcoming Culture Shock

Hi again,

Before I left America to come to Japan, all JET participants had to participate in a pre-departure orientation. There, they told us about what we should expect and what adjusting to life in Japan would be like. In particular, they wanted to explain to us what the cultural transition would feel like. First, there would be the honeymoon period, where we excited travelers would not yet have any work to do, and we would find everything fascinating and interesting.

Orientation speakers then warned us about the next stage: culture shock. In this stage, things that are different are no longer fascinating, but irritating. We would start to miss food, activities, and people back home, and homesickness would settle in. We would try to accommodate for the things we miss by turning our homes into "little Americas" to try to escape the realities of a foreign country. Among the JET community, this stage is infamously called "Stage II."

Only a week or two after coming to Japan, I already felt some definite signs of Stage II. I often felt frustrated in grocery stores when I was searching for something that isn't a normal commodity in Japan (like fish sauce). I was angry about the exorbitant prices of certain things, like fruits or bicycle parts. I also started to miss my bikes back home, and became annoyed every time having my mountain bike would've been convenient.

Mostly, I felt anxiety about my Japanese language level. There are kanji written everywhere, and not knowing what many of them mean is exhausting for a person who likes to know his surroundings. Sometimes, I didn't want to go outside to get groceries or run other errands because I wasn't confident in my speaking ability. I'm Asian and don't look different from Japanese people at all, so when they talk to me and I have trouble responding, they look at me like I have some learning disability. It's always an awkward experience where I need to explain myself so they won't talk so damn fast or use difficult vocabulary. I just wanted to stay in my apartment and watch American TV shows all day. Being separated from Honeybunny didn't help relieve any of this.

Then, one day, I decided I would try to break free from this Stage II anxiety. I decided that my first step would be something simple: I would get a Universe (grocery store) point card. I've always wanted to get one, but I've never had the confidence to go to the counter to ask about how to get one or how to use it. I finally sucked it up and went to the service counter to ask about it. The lady was nice enough to explain it to me (even if she couldn't speak any English) and help me with filling out the paperwork. Finally, I got my point card, thanked the service lady for helping me, and walked out of the grocery store victorious. Here's my badge of honor for taking the first step out of Stage II:

It may not be much, but at least I now have a physical reminder that, even in this foreign country, I can still do things on my own and drag myself through to the next stage: cultural acclimation. Next step? Get a Japanese credit card...

*Update: I actually just got my Japanese credit card in the mail. Very nice...

My new EXTAGE card with a HUGE credit limit! =)

Mochitsuki

Hi everyone,

This past weekend, I went to a Mochitsuki event at Takada Elementary. For those who don't know, Mochitsuki is "mochi making", and mochi is a chewy rice ball made from pounded sticky rice. The traditional way to make mochi is to pound the sticky rice with a large wooden mallet while another person flips the sticky blob around in the giant mortar. Here's me taking my turn on the mallet:

The mallet itself weighs somewhere between 5 and 10 kg, so it's not an easy task. The flipper has no walk-in-the-park either, as they need to grab the freshly cooked and scalding hot rice with their bare hands. They're also constantly scared that an inexperienced pounder (like me) might smash them over the head with a wooden sledgehammer. You can see the woman in the video flinch a few times...

After the rice has been pounded into a sticky white blob, the mass is transferred to a table where people break it apart and roll smaller mochi balls in rice flour. We got to try our hand at it, and my jacket ended up covered in stubborn rice flour.

Preparing mochi with the moms

At the end, we finally got to devour our creations. It was an all-you-can eat mochi extravaganza! The main course was mochi in a vegetable and chicken soup, which I believe is called "zouni" （雑煮）. After a few bowls of that, we headed to desert, which was mochi covered in a sweet soybean powder called "kinako" (黄粉).

Mochi soup - zouni

Mochi in kinako

In the end, we were stuffed to the brim with amazingly delicious hand-made mochi and had fun playing with the elementary school kids in the beautiful weather. Thanks a bunch, 高田小!!

Until next time...

Happy Halloween!

Hey everyone! Happy Halloween!

Although not nearly as popular as in America, Halloween is celebrated here in Japan. It was a nice excuse to make a costume and wear it to my classes. I decided to be Hanakappa, a children's morning TV cartoon character on NHK.

Hanakappa

My costume: aluminum wire frame & felt fabric skin

He's very popular among the elementary school kids, and he's well known among my middle schoolers, too. Only about half of my teachers (basically all the ones with kids) knew the character. I also decided to give the children an opportunity to wear the costume and perform the "hanasaki" dance in exchange for the chance to trick-or-treat and get candy. A lot of the elementary school kids participated and had fun with that one. I would love to show you all the pictures I took of kids wearing the flower and mask, but unfortunately I can't.

I also attended a JET Halloween party dressed the same way. As expected, basically none of the other foreigners knew who Hanakappa was, and only a few of the Japanese people there knew him. That's probably because they were mostly in their 20+ years and didn't have kids. However, I managed to get some attention in the streets walking over to the nearby convenience store. Smashed salarymen hobbling along the sidewalk pointed and smacked the person holding them up, saying, "Hey! It's Hanakappa!! Look!" Some of the older women just pointed and giggled. While in the convenience store, a younger couple walked in, and the woman walked straight up to me, pointed, and laughed her ass off. As they left, the woman gave me another giggle and a thumbs up.

On the night of Halloween, something really surprised me. My neighbor's kid came over and rang my doorbell. I cautiously answered my door, and the kid was standing there with his mom wearing a giant paper pumpkin. He yelled, "Trick or treat!" and I was so taken aback I nearly fell back into my apartment. I then told him to wait while I went back in and snagged a couple chocolates for him. In return, he said "Happy Halloween" and gave me a packet of rice crackers! Yay! Who would've thought that the first time I get trick-or-treated would be in Japan?

In any case, this is the first time I've dressed up for Halloween in many years, and it was fun to do it Japanese style! How was your Halloween?

What Aomori Looks Like

Hi again!

While I was reading my past posts, I realized something. I've been here for 3 months now, and I've shown pictures of my workplace, the events and festivals, and some food. However, I have yet to show what my city actually looks like! So, it's about time...

Aomori Prefecture is the northernmost prefecture of Honshu (the main island of Japan) and the second-northernmost prefecture in all of Japan (second only to the island of Hokkaido). It is roughly the same latitude as the northern border of North Korea, so we can expect a pretty frigid winter and 300 inches of snowfall a year. My city is Aomori City, the capitol of the prefecture boasting more than 300,000 residents. It can be described as a 10 mile long strip spanning the southern arc of Aomori Bay, which is a small portion of Mutsu Bay.

The city is by no means small. There are plenty of people and buildings, especially in the downtown area. All the amenities of civilized life are available, even if some may cost more or be harder to come by.

Stock photo of the downtown area.

However, the prefecture itself is regarded as the most backwater prefecture in all of Japan, and relies heavily on the farming, fishing, forestry, and (previously) nuclear power industries. This is easily apparent to me because, while I live in a pretty densely populated neighborhood, the schools I visit are in the outskirts of the city, where farming is prevalent. Here, you can see two of my schools in the middle of rice fields.

The view out the window of Higashi Middle

 It's not much longer of a trek until, suddenly, you find yourself lost in the paddies.

Suddenly, rice paddies as far as the eye can see.

It might be one of the lower income areas of Japan, and it might be buried in snow in the winter, but this place can definitely be beautiful. On some of my bike rides home, I just had to stop and take in the breathtaking view around me.

On the way back from my furthest school, Nonai Elementary. Truly glorious.

Another perk about living where I do is that the ocean is less than half a mile away. I live almost across the street from the a famous local park called Gappo Park. The special thing about this park is that it features a sandy beach alongside your typical pine tree recreation area. It's not everywhere that you get to see pine trees growing not even 50 meters from the water's edge. The whole park is also at a very low elevation, and there is almost zero slope leading into the water. Basically, the effect is that, while you're walking towards the ocean, it seems like you're already swimming in it.

I should probably mention that these photos are a few months old, so don't think that it's warm enough right now to go swimming a the beach. It's cold enough right now to require multiple jackets, and it's already worse than the dead of a Los Angeles winter. The nice thing is that the leaves are changing for autumn, so I'll have some pictures of the pretty fall foliage soon.

That's all for today! Until next time...

Getting Acquainted with Japanese Food

Hi again!

One of the best things about traveling is the ability to eat different types of food. For the gourmands, this means you can gorge yourself of unfamiliar, but equally delicious, types of local fare. For those who like to live on the wild side, this means you can try the strange delicacies a new land has to offer. For those who like to cook for themselves, this means you can experiment with the flavors and textures of local ingredients. As a self-proclaimed wild gourmand who likes to cook, traveling is awesome.

Let's start with gorging yourself. Since I've come to Japan, I've gone to various restaurants to eat ramen, sushi, Indian food, burgers, and all kinds of different stuff. One of the specialties of Aomori is the miso curry butter milk ramen. As the name suggests, it's a creamy, oily, and salty version of your typical ramen with an interesting curry kick. I wish I had taken a picture myself, but I honestly spend much more time eating and much less time photographing my food, so here is a photo I stole from a friend:

That's great and all, but I think my favorite thing to eat here is at a restaurant called Tai En, which is a Thai Restaurant (note that all foreign food restaurants will be "Japanified" and not quite authentic). It's only a 3 minute walk from my apartment, which will be awesome in winter, and they offer a lunch special of Shinan soba (essentially ramen) and a half portion of red (pork and bamboo shoot) or green (pork and mushroom) curry. It's probably the cheapest lunch for its size (at 700 yen), and I always leave stuffed to the brim. Oh, and did I mention it's delicious? I don't know how they make the soup for the ramen, but it's way tastier than any Japanese ramen I've had so far. Also, the curry is really spicy in my opinion (which is saying a lot, since the Japanese "very hot" is usually somewhere around "mild-medium" in the States, China, or Korea), so don't touch the stuff before you're done with your ramen or your mouth will be on FIRE. Anyways, here's what it looks like:

Now to the weirder stuff. Firstly, I'm sure you all know about sushi and the fact that Japan likes to eat their fish raw. You've probably also had some sushi or sashimi in your life, but it was probably pretty expensive. Sushi can be pretty expensive here too (another ALT has eaten a $400 sushi meal at a famous shop in Tokyo, owned by the guy in the documentary "Jiro Dreams of Sushi") but since I live in a large fishing area, the stuff is usually easy to find for pretty cheap. There are Kaiten sushi places everywhere (the conveyor belt sushi), and they range in price depending on the quality. One of my favorite places to get raw fish is at a market in the downtown area called the 魚菜センター gyosai center. You can get something called Nokkedon, where you buy a ticket book worth 500 or 1000 yen, and then wander through the fish market spending tickets on stuff to put in your bowl.

There are lots of choices in raw fish and shellfish, but if you're not a fan of raw meat, there are lots of cooked dishes, vegetables and pickles, and even barbecued beef! Anyways, you can get a lot of raw fish for a good price if you don't get anything extravagant. Here's what my bowl looked like when I was finished using all my tickets:

All the fish was really fresh and amazingly tasty. The shark was especially delicious, but the whale was a bit tough and had a strange flavor (like something between beef and fish). I don't think I'll be getting that again, but that's all the better for the over-hunted whales anyways.

For more weird stuff, there's always the infamous natto. If you didn't know, natto is a fermented soybean dish that has a very gooey and sticky consistency and a pungent smell and taste. It's very hard to describe in words, so I suggest you just try it for yourself someday. I tried natto for the first time at a ramen shop in San Diego, and I was under the impression that you were supposed to eat it by itself. It tasted pretty awful, and it was overall a bad experience. What I found out when I got here was that natto is usually eaten with sauce mixed in, like soy sauce, vinegar, sesame oil, mustard, or other things. Natto packs usually come with a pre-made sauce packet (called "tare") and some mustard ("karashi") for you to just dump in. Everyone puts different stuff in it to suit their preference, and very few people actually eat natto by itself. The first few times I ate natto in Japan, the sauce didn't do much to help the taste. After a few months of avoiding it, I finally decided to try it again because it's healthy and cheap. To my surprise, I actually started liking it, and now I have it almost every morning. My favorite things to put in it are minced scallions, soy sauce, and a little bit of sugar (along with the tare packet). The only annoying thing about it is the texture; it makes all your saliva gooey and sticky, and it's hard to eat it without getting the stringy goo all over the edge of your bowl and your face. Here's me enjoying some of the breakfast of champions:

Finally, let's talk about the local ingredients around here. Here's the lowdown on meat: pork and chicken are about the same as their American counterparts, but possibly a little more expensive. You can't quite find the variety of American supermarkets (for example, I can't buy a whole chicken, a rack of ribs, or a whole pork loin). Beef is MUCH more expensive, so don't expect to be eating lots of the stuff. Even though beef is expensive, dairy products are still comparable in price to their American counterparts. I guess they'd just rather milk their cows instead of slaughtering them. Now to the good part: fish is much cheaper than in the States, and there's a ton of variety. The seafood section in the supermarket is probably as large if not larger than the section for the rest of the meat. You can find whole fish, fillets and steaks, fish eggs (from all kinds of fish), mollusks (like clams and Aomori's regional specialty, scallops), crustaceans (like shrimp, prawns, and crab), cephalopods (squid and octopus), eel, weird stuff like sea cucumber and sea pineapple, and of course sashimi. Not only is it cheaper and easier to get, it tastes SO much better than what I'm used to. I had no idea salmon could have this amount of flavor!

Sea Pineapple, whatever the hell it is (Spongebob's house?).

Fruits are more expensive in Japan, especially when it comes to peaches, grapes, and melons. For example, a normal cantaloup can cost you well over $20. The selection of vegetables is smaller, and stuff like tomatoes and potatoes cost more than I'd like. Corn especially can get pretty expensive (usually more than $1 an ear). However, you can always go for the stuff that is common and cheap. For example, cabbage is readily available and usually very inexpensive. Green bell peppers, while much smaller than I'm used, are usually very cheap (about 10 cents a piece). Mushrooms come is an impressive variety, and although they can get quite expensive, they go on sale often. Local farmers markets will sell their fruits and veggies for much cheaper than grocery stores, so that's where I usually get my produce.

There's a lot of produce I'm not used to using, like Japanese ginger, sesame leaves, burdock root, or nagaimo (I have no idea how to translate this), but I've been slowly trying to incorporate them into my cooking. Here's what they look like:

Japanese ginger: myouga

Sesame leaf: aojiso

Burdock root: gobou

nagaimo

There is one thing I must mention about food in Japan, and it is about kimchi. Here, they sell something called "Kimchi", but it is entirely not kimchi. It's red and spicy and is made of napa cabbage like the Korean kimchi, but it tastes very different. Firstly, it's really salty and somewhat sweet, so it's got a savory thing going on. Secondly, it's not actually fermented at all, so it doesn't have any of the sour flavor that real kimchi has. Back in the states, I didn't like kimchi very much, but after having the Japanese style stuff, I can't seem to get enough of it now! However, it's not the cheapest stuff in the world. This has prompted me to start making my own kimchi. It's hard to come by fish sauce in Japan, so I've taken a note out of the Japanese style kimchi book and use miso to get the savory flavor. The kimchi I make, however, is entirely fermented, and so actually qualifies as real "kimchi". Essentially, I now make something in between Japanese and Korean kimchi, and I'm loving the stuff.

Well, that's enough about food for now! I successfully made myself extremely hungry while typing this, so I'm going to go have a bite to eat. See you all next time for a new and exciting post!

Crap My Students Write

My teachers are very amused every time I burst out laughing at my desk. Honestly, if you were me, you'd be unable to hold back as well. Some of the crap these students write...

In this case, the students were given a picture (of van Gogh, no less) and asked to write a few sentences of what he was thinking. Giving these students this kind of liberty can only bring bad things. Here's what I mean:

What's not shown is the giant red =( I wrote in the margin.

I'm impressed they know what "a whim" is. But still, NO.

I'm sure that would make anyone exciting.

I don't even...

"was"?

Anyways, I'll  be sure to post more crazy junk I see on stuff I'm supposed to grade. Stay tuned for the next post, which will be about what you probably care about most: FOOD!!

Speaking Cutely

Hi everyone!

The last few weeks have been relatively uneventful, so I apologize for not having anything interesting to post. Yesterday, however, something rather interesting happened.

On Monday night (during a long weekend), I boarded an overnight bus from Tokyo to Aomori after visiting Kristin in Komagane-shi in Nagano-ken. The bus left Tokyo at 8:30 pm and arrived in Aomori at 6:50 am the next day. As you can imagine, these bus rides are not the most comfortable methods of transportation in the world, so I didn't get much sleep. I also needed to be at Toyama Middle School at 8:20 am to teach, so I didn't have any time in between getting off the bus, going back home, taking a shower, and heading to school to have a nap. This was an extraordinarily tiring Tuesday.

I, however, have been having a much better time communicating with the students. All my choice napping spots were being used (like the judo mats in the gym), so I had no choice but to stay awake. In between classes and during breaks, I tried my best to have as much conversation time with the kids as possible, even if it had to be in Japanese. After I finished my only class for the day, the students were preparing to practice their performances for the upcoming school festival. I took this as an opportunity to sneak into the music room and have a nap on a makeshift bed of 4 lined up chairs.

I was, of course, caught 15 minutes into my slumber by the two piano playing girls who came up to work on their piece. I woke up as they tried to open one of the locked doors, and I went and opened it for them. They asked if I was sleeping, and I sheepishly said yes. Then I sat with them and watched as they practiced their piece, and then we had a fun episode when a bee (wasp?) and a grasshopper flew in through one of the open windows. I got the grasshopper out easily, but the bees here in Japan are humongous, so I was not quite as manly while trying to shoo that one away.

Anyways, after they were done, I left with them and headed back to where the other (less musically talented) students were working on their performance. The group of girls leading the performance (but who don't actually perform themselves) were idling about in the hallway while the rest of the kids did their thing in the main area. I started up a little conversation with 4 of them, and they noticed my name tag. The students here get a little confused by the way my name is spelled, so they want to call me RAI-AN (ライアン) even though my name is pronounced more like RAI-EN (ライエン), which is how I spell it in Japanese. The girls realized that they've been pronouncing my name wrong this whole time, and tried their best to get it right. They also noticed my last name RIN リン and asked me about it. I told them casually, "It's written like the Japanese [Hayashi]," or 「林と書くんだよ。」

The girls looked at each other blankly for a second and then burst out laughing. I wasn't sure why at first, but one of the girls turned to me with her thumbs up and exclaimed, "Very cute!" Then I remembered something. I talk like an anime character. Especially when I'm tired and easily suggestible, I tend to speak without thinking very much. This means that my Japanese language skills return to where they came from: anime.

For those on you who don't know me, I studied Japanese for 3 years in high school and less than 2 years in college. In high school, I hadn't ever heard Japanese spoken before, and I only decided to learn Japanese because foreign language was a requirement and the other options were less attractive. I also had very little motivation and enthusiasm. The teacher was pretty terrible, so I spent 3 years learning very little and speaking hardly anything. Honestly, I was horrible, and listening to my old cassette tapes of oral tests makes me cringe.

When I started college, I found out that my unwillingness to consume alcoholic beverages left me very bored and with a lot of free time. This is when I picked up a truckload of hobbies, one of which included watching anime. My first year in college, I watched a massive amount of anime in between learning martial arts and archery, teaching myself to become a mountain/road cyclist and inline/freeline skater, and of course, engineering.

Because I watched so much anime, I decided to re-learn Japanese in my second college year. I took the classes for fun, and the teachers were so much better than in high school. In 3 months, we learned the same amount I was taught for 3 years in high school, and we learned it better. What I noticed this time is that I practically breathed in the language. I went to every class and participated heavily in every lesson, but I never studied. Even so, I was still one of the top students in the class and definitely the most natural sounding speaker. Why? Anime. Not only had I heard the language enough to replicate the sounds almost perfectly, I was now motivated to use what I heard from anime in class and learn more about it.

Over the year and two-thirds I studied Japanese in college, I honed my colloquial Japanese into a more proper form of the language. However, when I'm trying to produce language quickly and naturally, I still return to where I originally learned certain words and phrases. This unfortunately means that I talk like an anime character. Even worse, I tend to talk like an anime GIRL.

In anime, the characters speak Japanese, and Japanese has a masculine and feminine way of speaking (besides the standard unisex talking style). Anime Japanese is entirely sensible and understandable, but much of it is not used in real life. For example, anime girls like to add cute feminine endings to their sentences, like NANO なの, N ん, or WA わ, or extend the sentence with a long SUUU す～. They also tend to use long matter-of-fact or affirmation endings like DAYO だよ～ or DAYONE だよね～ much more than boys. Meanwhile, anime boys tend to speak very standard normal Japanese, even though the more masculine boys will end sentences with ZE ぜ or cut short the more polite DESU ending into a SSU っす.

Since anime tends to be rather female-heavy, I am more used to hearing the way girls talk in anime instead of boys. The unfortunate side effect of this is that I have also started talking like an anime girl. When I've got nothing else to go by, I like to use lexical phrases I learned in the way that I've heard, so they come straight out of lines in an anime. Lots of times, it's standard Japanese. Sometimes, it comes out masculine, which is perfectly normal since I'm a boy. A lot more times than is socially normal, it comes out feminine.

The girls I was talking to found my way of speaking hilarious because that's not the way a male would usually talk. If anything, I used 2 feminine modifications consecutively, so they almost thought that I misspoke before they put 2 and 2 together. When they realized that I in fact said what I did, the overall cuteness of it was too much for them to handle.

Even if I wanted, there isn't much I can do to fix my problem, since it lies at the very root of where I learned the language. I supposed I will just need to continue living my life speaking cutely, which I am perfectly fine with.

Japan and Schizophrenia

I'm sure many people have told you that Japanese people are all very kind, friendly, or submissive. Well you can take that notion and wipe it completely out of your mind.

There is no doubt that when you come to Japan, you'll probably be treated very nicely by nearly all the people around you, especially if you're Caucasian or some other race that is not Japanese-looking. Even if you are Japanese or look Japanese (which has caused me a lot of trouble so far), just being a stranger entitles you to be treated kindly and politely. The whole idea is that being some sort of outsider, whether you are a guest in someone's house, someone's neighborhood, or the country of Japan, entitles you to special treatment. The social protocol is to treat guests with an elaborate amount of politeness and respect.

Just because Japanese people have to ability to be indescribably kind doesn't mean they can be described as "nice people". Obviously many people in Japan are naturally very nice people, but that's no different than the citizenry of any other country. And, like the citizenry of any other country, some Japanese people have the ability to be absurdly mean. The difference is that, in Japan, the nice people and the mean people tend to be one and the same.

This is because much of Japan is schizophrenic.

I wouldn't go so far as to say that the entire population has a psychological disorder. It's more that the social status quo has trained all people to act in a very bipolar manner. This is evident in the language structure itself. Those of you who speak or understand Japanese (and some other languages, like Korean) know that there is a tiered system for polite speech. At the very bottom is casual (plain) speech, followed by the standard "polite speech" (teineigo). Above that, there are two categories called "humble speech" (kenjougo, which is used to describe action performed by one's self in a very humble manner) and "respectful speech" (sonkeigo, which is used to describe action performed by others in an exalted manner). Essentially, the language system has a different way to say the exact same things in various situations. I, along with many other people from different backgrounds, have lots of trouble developing a situational awareness to use the different types of speech. I often inadvertently switch back and forth between plain, polite, and humble/respectful speech in the span of a conversation (and sometimes in the span of a sentence) just because I naturally jump to the form that I've heard used the most. Japanese people, however, are excellent at knowing when to use a certain type of speech, and they can turn on politeness like a light switch.

The cultural schizophrenia is easily visible when monitoring behavior between classes of the established social hierarchy. The service class - which includes people like clerks, bus drivers, or anyone who interacts with customers - does a lot of talking. They almost always use humble and respectful speech when they talk to customers, and are usually the only ones talking at all. Customers generally walk around being served without saying anything at all. At the supermarket, the clerk greets you, tells you the price of everything, tells you the total price, announces how much you paid, tells you how much change you get, and thanks you for coming. The customer is not expected to say anything. The vast majority of the time I've seen it, the customers have just walked in, thrown down their groceries and cash, and walked away without a word. This goes for people on the bus as well. The passengers deposit their ticket, pay their fares, and leave without a single word of thanks or appreciation to the driver for getting them to their destination safely. As a former bus driver, this particularly gets on my nerves.

The craziness continues into the educational system and workplace as well. For example, I work at several schools, and I get to see teacher-teacher and teacher-student interaction every day. I've never felt unwelcome at any of my schools, and I have also never seen a teacher be treated badly by another teacher. They don't criticize each other, and they definitely don't belittle each other. Most interactions are friendly small talk or notification of some important matter. Many of the teachers are docile and keep to themselves most of the time. Whenever teachers talk to the head teacher, they are always respectful and compliant.

However, I've seen these same teachers, who were always calm and respectful, turn into ferocious monsters. Some of these teachers yell at their students. And they don't just raise their voices; they scream and holler at their kids like they've done something atrocious and unforgivable. In fact, one of the teachers is letting loose the Guns of the Navarone on a student in the hallway as I'm typing this. Why? The times I've seen it, it's because the students weren't standing or sitting straight enough, or because they were talking softly during some sort of gathering. Things like this would seem trivial to most people, especially in the US, but somehow they are things to get worked up over in this country. Let me remind you that these teachers are the ones that have always treated me kindly, always smile at me and other teachers, and just generally seem like nice people.

It's not just the teachers who are schizophrenic. The students display many signs of this "cultural disorder" as well. During school assemblies and ceremonies, they are silent and steady soldiers. They walk in straight lines, sit or stand bolt upright for half an hour or more, and follow directions to a T. However, this only applies for those certain occasions. When the same kids are in a classroom, especially during break time or even during lessons (if the teacher is particularly weak), they can be uncontrollable gremlins. I've seen teachers nearly break into tears because their classes were so misbehaved.

All this schizophrenia has penetrated so far into their minds that it seems to have affected their taste buds as well. Those of you who know me know that I love food that has multiple stages. This is why I like Warheads and caramel apple candies so much. Japanese people share the same sentiment as me, but for a different reason. According to them, "the Warheads were so sour, but then got sweeter. I love this candy that is sophisticated and has many faces." They like candies that have the ability to delight you and smack you around a little bit at the same time. Basically, they like candies that act like Japanese people.

I don't really know why Japanese society finds it necessary to display one's self in a different way for every situation, but I have a long time to figure that out. Honestly, I'm sure there are many Japanese people who display their genuine emotions at all times, so I don't want to give you the false impression that all Japanese people have deceptive personalities. I just would rather not find out what the Japanese people I enjoy being around are really like when they're not around me.

Anyways, that's all for today! This post displays some disappointment and frustration, but I assure you that I'm still having a good time and a great experience. For now, Ryan out!

Messing with the Students

Being a bit of a prankster, I like to mess around with my students once in a while. It's especially funny because they don't understand much English, and I can get away with a lot of stuff.

Self-introductions can get very fun in this way. During question time, some of the students have asked me things like, "What did you do yesterday?" or, "What did you do last night?" for lack of better questions or to use their newly learned past tense. I take these opportunities to tell them things like "I'm afraid I can't say it in front of children," or proclaim loudly, "None of your business!" Since the kids generally don't understand English at this level, it's mostly the JTE (Japanese Teacher of English) that laughs his/her ass off alone in the back of the room.

While I introduce my hobbies, I have pictures of me throwing people in Hapkido. All of the kids recognize this as Judo, and stare wide-eyed at the pictures of a familiar practice in an unfamiliar culture. I have some rowdier students who are somewhat disruptive and take a lot of energy to deal with, so I take this opportunity to vent by singling them out and saying, "See? I can kill you!" Usually, their lack of understanding elicits no reaction, and the class continues as normal. However, one of my classes (a particularly rowdy one) fell dead silent right after I said it. I was terrified that maybe the students understood what I said, so I freaked out for a few seconds. In the end, it turned out that they just shut up because they were confused, and that's all. 

Another one of my favorite practices is pretending I don't speak Japanese. When I meet a class for the first time, I usually speak exclusively English to the kids, whether we are in class or not. This makes a lot of them think I can't speak Japanese. Then, in the middle of class, while I'm walking around helping with their question making activity, I participate with some of the groups. When I arrive, they usually look at each other nervously and chatter in Japanese about my presence. Sometimes, when they are being particularly chatty, I respond to one of the student's comments in Japanese, and then leave right as the group turns toward me in astonishment. (By the way, although my Japanese level is only about high intermediate in grammar and vocabulary, I don't have an accent. I look and sound entirely Japanese. Most Japanese people and even some of the other JETs mistaken me for a Japanese person.)

During question time, I almost always get the question: "Do you speak Japanese?" When I get back to the question, I always say, "Okay, let's see what the next question is. So, can I speak Japanese? Hmm... no, I can't understand or speak any Japanese, I only understand English, alright?" And, of course, I do this entirely in Japanese. You'd think that it would be obvious to the students that I'm lying, but you'd be wrong. Most of the students get it right and make an uproar, saying, "You're speaking Japanese, dammit!" However, I've had other kids who, in their written response to my introduction, state that I don't speak any Japanese. I'm not sure if they're just really thick, or maybe they just took my word for it because they thought that I actually don't understand very much and only memorized a few lines of (perfectly fluent) Japanese.

Then, there is this one 2nd grader at Toyama Middle School that I particularly like to mess with. I was wandering around after school, and I found a few students hanging around the back of the building with a little taiko drum. I said hi to them, and they were all pretty confused because they hadn't met me yet. I turned around, and there was a rather large second year boy staring at me suspiciously. I said hi, and he kept giving me that suspicious look. In Japanese, I asked him if everything was okay, and he said no. I asked why. He asked me who I was, so I showed him my name tag and I told him I was the new English ALT. He looked at my name tag and found out I wasn't Japanese. I then asked what they were doing with the drum, and they told me that they were the "cheering leaders" that head group chants and cheers during the sports competitions. I told him I'd go teach in his class the next day and said goodbye.

The following day, I went to his class, and he started trying to say something to me in Japanese. I shrugged, shook my head, and said in the worst American accent of Japanese ever, "I DON'T UNDERSTAND." He gave me a surprised look, and then turned to try to explain to his friends, who I supposed were expecting something and were now all persecuting him. He stuttered, "But... yesterday... yesterday he was talking to me and... wait, speak Japanese!" I shrugged again and gave him the same answer. He had the most desperately pleading and confused look on his face. I chuckled to myself and started the English lesson.

I later bumped into him in the hall with his friends. He called to me and tried to make me speak Japanese again, but I still felt playful and wanted to mess with him more. He looked at me desperately and asked, "Why wont you speak Japanese?" I gave him a smile and walked away, leaving him stunned and his friends laughing. Poor guy...

Finally, the last event is the one I'm most proud of. I was at Toyama Nishi Elementary teaching the sixth grade classes, and I walked into my next class during break time. One of the kids was comfortably proclaiming "自由、自由！" (or "jiyuu jiyuu") while stretching his arms upwards. I laughed as I walked past him, and I asked him if he knew how to say that in English. When he told me he didn't know, I raised my hands and yelled, "FREEDOM!!" He copied me, and I had successfully started a trend. The students next to him copied him, and it spread like wildfire. By the time I had finished the lesson and lunch break started, most of the boys were expressing their free time by raising their arms and shouting, "FREEEEEDOM!!" Now I have a sixth grade class filled with little Bravehearts! I'm so proud...

Thanks for reading, and stay tuned!

A Visit from Honeybunny & Lessons Learned

This weekend, my girlfriend came to visit me. She's stationed in a city called Komagane in the southern part of a prefecture called Nagano. You may have heard of Nagano City from when the winter Olympics were held back in 1998, but Komagane is actually a few hours bus ride south of Nagano City.  Anyways, we've been planning this trip for a while, and all the plans were made. We were hoping the trip would go without a hitch, but alas we were not so lucky.

It is impossible to get straight from Komagane to Aomori. Komagane is locked in a valley between two mountain ranges, and the nearest airport is hours away in Matsumoto. Even if you got to the airport, there is no direct flight to Aomori. You would instead need to fly to Tokyo and transfer to another domestic flight. Flying is also very expensive in Japan, costing an equivalent of about $400 for what would be an equivalent to a flight from L.A. to San Francisco.

The best option is to take the bus or the train, but once again, there is no direct route from Nagano prefecture to Aomori. You still need to use Tokyo as the main transfer point to get anywhere, which is rather annoying. The only feasible option to get to Tokyo is the highway bus, which take a few hours. From Tokyo, you can take the bullet train, limited express trains, or an overnight bus to Aomori. The overnight bus is much cheaper than the trains (costing less than half), so we vouched for that option. However, these require online reservations, so we needed to do that.

All the tickets had been purchased and printed, and Honeybunny left Komagane on the highway bus, making sure to leave about an hour and a half of leeway between arrival in Tokyo (Shinjuku) and departure from Tokyo (Ueno, about a 20 min subway ride away). Unfortunately, the highway bus from Komagane was morbidly late, and by the time she arrived in Shinjuku, the bus to Aomori had already departed. You may have some preconceptions that everything is Japan is always efficient, reliable, and on time. This is definitely true for the train system, which runs by the second and is reliable beyond belief (when it's not snowing). Buses, on the other hand, are not nearly as reliable. For the city buses in Aomori, there is a chart describing what stops there are and how long it takes to get from one stop to another. I've had buses take twice as long as promised to get to the destination. The highway bus Honeybunny took was late by 2 whole hours!

Furthermore, since she had a problem with her passport and legal paperwork, she didn't have a cell phone. So, it was past 9 pm, and she was stuck in Tokyo with no cell phone, no way to get to Aomori, and no place to stay for the night. She desperately called me on a payphone for help, and I had to ask an ALT friend for help booking an emergency room at a hotel (which were packed because of the 3-day weekend) and telling her how to get there on the labyrinth of trains which is the Tokyo Metropolitan Public Transport System. I managed to give her direction right as she ran out of coins and the payphone cut off.

She arrived at her hotel at around 11:30 pm, but there was trouble actually getting her room. The hotel clerks didn't speak English, and Honeybunny's Japanese isn't sparkling either. I got a phone call from the hotel asking me for the reservation information, so I gave him all I could. It wasn't enough. This hotel was kind of stuck in the last century, so they didn't have a working computer or printer. I ended up forwarding the email confirmation to Honeybunny, and she used her (inactive) iPhone and hotel wifi to download it. I had already paid by credit card, but the clerk wanted paper proof (by fax!) that I had paid already. Being unable to give him any, we had to pay for the room in cash and ask for a refund on the credit card later. All that mattered to me was that she had a safe place to stay and get a good night's rest.

The next day, she headed back to Tokyo Station to try to catch the earliest bullet train to Aomori. At this point, we had already lost the 4500 yen (or about $55+) for the bus reservation. She had used up too much of her cash paying for the hotel room (which was 5880 yen (or about $70+), so she didn't have enough to pay for the train (which is about 17,000 yen, or about $200+). She needed to go to the nearest post office (and subsequently, bank) to withdraw money, and I had to help her find one. A few payphone calls and ATM malfunctions later, she finally had cash in hand and boarded the bullet train to Aomori. Thank god the fiasco is over...

After she got here, I didn't even really care about what just happened the day before, nor the fact that we just lost more than 25,000 yen. She made it over safely, and being together again was worth much more than the money spent to get her here. We didn't go around too much while she was here, but we spent most of our time hanging out together either at the beach park or at home. We also went to the grocery store and bought lots of seafood, since her prefecture is landlocked and sadly lacking in fresh fish. We made lots of home-cooked meals, and it was cute when she started salivating uncontrollably from the nostalgic taste of my cooking. We took some pictures in the living room for memories:

I also gave her an early birthday present, which was a hand-sketched portrait of the both of us before we left for Japan:

It was sad when she needed to leave the next night, but it was nice to be reminded of each others' presence before another long separation. Next time, it's my turn to make the journey, and I hope the trip turns out much smoother than hers did.

My Middle Schools

Hello again!

Now let's talk about my middle schools. I have 2 of them: Higashi 東 and Toyama 戸山. Higashi middle school is my "base school", so it's where I go if I'm done with my elementary schools and the workday is still not yet over. Out of all the schools I visit, I go to Higashi the most often and for the longest amount of time. It's not a particularly large school, but they are constructing a new larger building to comply with new earthquake code in the midst of the Great Eastern Japanese Earthquake. Toyama middle school is in the southern part of Aomori and feels larger than Higashi middle school, just because there are a lot of extra rooms they don't use.

Middle schools here in Japan feel very different from middle schools in America. First of all, the teacher/student operations are opposite of those in the US. Here, the teachers all rotate among the classrooms while the students stay together in the same classroom with the same classmates. When the kids get older, the classes still stay together (usually along with the same homeroom teacher) for their entire stay at the school, so the students and homeroom teacher are all very familiar with each other by the time they're finished. 

Also, the middle schools have 3 grades instead of 2, and the high schools also have 3 years instead of 4. However, remember that education is only mandatory until the end of middle school, so high school is entirely optional (although the vast majority of student do continue to high school). The 3 year middle school system feels very strange compared to the US. Before, middle school was the awkward transitional period between being a child and being an adolescent. In Japan, since the age gap is larger, there is a huge spectrum of behaviors all contained within a single school.

On the one hand, the 7th graders all feel like children. They are physically tiny, sometimes loud and rowdy, and are very likely to participate in more physical-type activities. They are also more prone to react openly and truthfully, which can sometimes be rude. Many of them are still unafraid to stare at something strange and unfamiliar, which in this case is me.

On the other hand, the 9th graders feel like young adults already. They are able to read the atmosphere of the situation and hide their curiosity as best they can. I still get stared at quite a bit (which I confirm with my excellent peripheral vision), but they turn away and pretend like they weren't looking when I make eye contact. They are mostly shy when they are alone, but gather great courage in large numbers. They can get easily embarrassed or excited when put on the spot.

That being said, I have to admit that I like the 3rd graders the most. They first graders don't know much English and can be rowdy and rude at times. They're the most energetic, so they're the hardest to keep up with on a slow day. The 3rd graders have the best English ability and are the most willing to interact with me outside of the classroom as well. They want to get along, and the smaller age gap lets them treat me like more of a peer instead of an authority figure. Most of the guys are pretty tall and better behaved at this point, and the girls are more mature and open to interaction.

And did I mention the third year girls are cute? If I didn't, damn they are cute! Especially the sports girls! I went to the gym one day during lunch break at Toyoma Middle School, and a few of the girls were playing volleyball. While they were knocking it around, it rolled over to me, so I picked it up and knocked it back. They took this as a cue to start playing volleyball with me. Some of the other girls who were walking around the hallways saw, and they came running over to join in. Pretty soon, we had a good 8 person circle knocking around a volleyball. The one girl in the volleyball club (named Reina) taught me how to hit a volleyball correctly, and then refused to pass the ball to anyone but me. We all had fun, and they were particularly impressed with my ability to stop a stray ball with my legs (Thank you Hapkido! Head kicks forever!).

At the end, they all crowded around me and bombarded me with rapid fire self-introductions. I staggered backwards overwhelmed, and the girls giggled happily at each other. One of them asked me, "Are you happy?" I couldn't contain myself and said, "Yes, I am happy. Very happy." Then she said, "Then give us candy!" All the girls chimed in, "Yeah! Give us candy! Candy!" and giggled away once more.

Oh, I love my life...

Jiko Shoukai

Hello everyone!

This week, I FINALLY finished introducing myself to all of my students. I've been doing this for about 3 weeks now, and I'm all but sick of students staring at me like I'm some sort of alien when I walk into a new classroom. I'm pretty tired of students giving me a double take when I say "Hello" instead of "konnichi wa" in the hallways. Thank god it's over...

For my introductions, I usually first had students get into groups for "question time", where they created a few questions to ask me, their mysterious new ALT. After question time ended, the students read me their questions and I wrote them all on the board. I made sure to tell them that any question is valid and acceptable, so I got a few strange, unrelated, rhetorical, or raunchy questions.

Lots of people wanted to know if I have a girlfriend. I think they were assuming that I don't have one, and they wanted to torment their new teacher's loneliness by prodding me with a sharp stick. Much to their surprise, I showed them a picture of my girlfriend, and they were astonished to see that she is both very cute and not Asian. My teachers warned me about students who ask about sex, but I was surprisingly only asked once. They formulated the question as "Do you play sex?" I answered by explaining that the verb "play" is generally used for things like games or sports. This diverted their attention enough for me to escape the question, but now they go around referring to sex as a sport.

After all the questions were written down on the board, I commenced my self introduction in the order I prepared. I showed them my family, my hometown, famous things in California, were I went to school, my previous job, my hobbies, my interests, and the food I like. For famous things in California, I showed pictures of Hollywood and Arnold Schwarzenegger in both "Terminator" and "Governator" modes. I also showed them some of my many hobbies. My favorite part was when I told them, "I like to cook," and then backtracked to the picture of kangaroos. I loved the way their facial expressions shifted from admiration to condemnation while I explained that kangaroos are actually edible and quite tasty.

The reactions of the classes varied wildly. Some of the classes were dead silent even when I asked them questions, while others erupted in chaos as the slightest cue. I actually had way more fun in the chaotic classes. The Japanese teachers hate these classes because the students like to misbehave and don't respect their teachers, but handling them is really not that difficult. One of the classes ended up rushing the chalkboard and sitting on the floor in the front of the chalkboard instead of staying back in their seats, but this actually made it a lot easier to show them pictures and keep their attention. Some of the students tried to mock me by repeating my words, but I encouraged them to continue and turned them into the "pronunciation leaders" because they would repeat key words without fail. The rest of the class had a blast, and the infamously misbehaving students who turned into class leaders came up to me after class desperately wanting handshakes (their ringleader wasn't satisfied with just one and wanted another). Their constant attempts at mockery made their pronunciation truly admirable, which I made sure the other students knew was something I respected.

After some of the more advanced classes (and by that, I mean less incompetent classes), the students wrote short summaries about me, and some even wrote me short self-introductions. Some of these were extremely entertaining, so give them a read below!

Nice try, but not good enough!

Well thanks...

After I showed the picture of my bus crash...

I think he's talking about my family.

That's all for now! Thanks for reading, and see you next time!