Hilariously Lost in Translation

This post will be dedicated to some of the hilarious moments that occurred due to miscommunication/cultural differences:

1)
In elementary school, we were having a lesson on occupations. The teacher was telling kids what certain people do, and asked what the occupation was called in English. He got to the baker and asked, 「ぱんつくってる人は？」(pantsukutteru hito wa?). Some of the boys responded loudly with 「パンツを何？？」 (they did WHAT with the panties?) because "pantsu kutteru hito" means 「パンツ食ってる人」, or "the person eating panties." The teacher repeated himself more slowly, saying 「パン、作ってる人」 (pan tsukutteru hito), which means "the person making bread." I laughed so hard I might have peed myself a little...

2)
In one of my elementary schools, I have the privilege of using this pointer:

Flippin' the bird at little kids

Nobody seems to know what it represents. Around here, it's not uncommon to see people pointing at stuff with their middle finger, but its still leaves me a little unsettled. One time, I fixed the glove so that it was the index finger doing the pointing. The next time I went back to that school, someone had reverted it back to the original form. I guess they just like the symmetry of the middle finger or something.

3)
At yet another elementary school, a 5th grade student had this pencil box:

Reefer for the little-uns

In this country, marijuana is strictly banned, to the point where possession of any small amount can get a foreigner jailed without trial for weeks or months, followed by deportation. Even so, the marijuana leaf symbol can be seen everywhere, strangely mostly on clothes and accessories meant for children. I've even seen ramen shop waitresses wearing bandanas with cannabis leaves printed all over it. It's just unusual to have the word "Marijuana" advertised so boldly on something, especially when accompanied by "I hear someone knocking on heaven's door." I laughed when I saw this pencil box, and the teacher explained to the child what it meant. I think the girl is considering getting a new pencil box hahaha.

4)
At one of my middle schools, some of the boys kept coming up to me and saying 「きらい　だいいち」 (kirai dai'ichi). I was a little offended at first, because I thought they might be saying 「嫌い　第一」, which means "number one dislike," but they were using a different intonation pattern. 「嫌い　第一」 sounds like "kiRAi DAi'Ichi," but they were saying, "KIrai DAI'ichi."

After being confused for a few weeks, I found out that one of the second year boys, who everyone thinks is my doppelganger, is named 「きらい　だいいち」 Kirai Dai'ichi, which I think is written as 喜来 大壱. This whole time, they were just calling me his name as a joke. I just never knew what was going on! I finally got it, and as I was chatting with their group, they all decided to nickname my clone "Kirai-en", or "Ki-Ryan". Fun times to come in the future...

5)
At my other middle school (you can see that I have many schools), the second-year kids were preparing a short speech about their "treasure" (See other blog post here for details). I was walking around helping the kids with vocabulary and grammar, when one of the girls raised her hand and called me over. 

She wanted to know how to say the word "uncle". I said it out loud, /ʌŋkəl/. She repeated nicely after me, "uncle." I realized it might sound a little like another Japanese word, so I replied with, "Yes. Not ウンコ ("unko", which means "poop"), but 'uncle'." Everyone in class burst out laughing, while the girl turned beet-red and repeatedly spouted 「言ってない！言ってない！」 (I didn't say that!). I laughed with them, and assured her that she pronounced it well so she would calm down. Then I told her to read her sentence, which was, "I got [my treasure] from my uncle." She snorted, while the boys around her shouted "My unko! From my unko!" I laughed until I had a splitting side-ache, and the room was in an uproar.

The Japanese teacher of English (JTE) had stepped out of the classroom before all of this went down, and everything had mostly settled down before she came back. When the girl read her speech during the presentation, and she got to the "my uncle" part, the whole class tried their best to stifle their laughter. We all ended up snickering loudly, and the JTE looked around in confusion. I had to excuse myself to the corner to regain my composure while the girl covered her red face with her paper. After regaining some self control, we calmly returned to doing presentations, with the JTE none the wiser. Ahh I love my second-year students.

6)
Before going on stage in the school opening ceremonies (for the new school year), one of the other teachers came up to me and slowly said 「二年の先生について　いってください」 (ninen no sensei ni tsuite itte kudasai). This can mean 「二年の先生について言って下さい」, which means "please say [something] regarding the second year teachers." I was specifically told that I didn't need to prepare a speech, so I freaked out and asked her, "What would you like me to say?" She gave me a confused look, and then repeated what she said before, but a little faster. At natural speed, I picked up the intonation difference and realized that she said 「二年の先生に付いて行って下さい」,which means "please follow the second year teachers [up the stage]." I breathed a sigh of relief, and angrily muttered to myself, "you coulda just said it like that the first time..."


Thanks for reading! If any other funny stuff happens, I may make a new post, or just add more to this post. Stay tuned!